So....we've reached the anniversary of the COVID-19 Coronavirus lockdown that shut down the country. It's been a full year since we all had to lock in place, and deal with this deadly virus that has wiped out over a half million people. People are now contemplating and reflecting on what they've been through over the past year, as we've reached this tenuous anniversary.
I myself was impacted by this tragedy. I'd lost my job working in both hospitality and food service, due to the pandemic. Technically, my last day had been that Wednesday, March 12th, as my days off were Thursday & Friday. I was supposed to return to work that Saturday morning, but my boss called me before my shift to let me know that the party that was supposed to be coming to our restaurant, had canceled. I was off for 2 more additional days, basically having a four day weekend. At first, I didn't mind, as that was the weekend that I'd had held my dual release for my novels "Time Will Reveal" (Kindle Direct Publishing, 2020), and "Suicide Amy" (Kindle Direct Publishing, 2020) to celebrate my 10-year anniversary as a published author. By that Monday, my boss had called me back, and let me know that I'd been laid off from the job, due to the impact of the pandemic.
At the time, I have to admit...I didn't think much of it. I truly though that, after maybe two weeks, this whole thing would blow over, and we'd all be back to normal, and I'd be back to work. As time went on, and the numbers grew, that's when it really started to hit me that....this shit is serious! Hundreds....then thousands...of people were dying of this super virus, and it was affecting the entire world. I have to admit, I went through my own mental trials during this whole time. My father was stuck out of the country in his homeland, and wasn't able to come back. I worried about his safety & health on the daily. Also...I was trying to establish a relationship with a particular young lady from my past. That experience ended up not going very well at all, and we now don't speak. A relationship can't work, if there's no communication. Apparently, she didn't/doesn't know how to answer her mf phone, and return a gd text message. The occasional selfie is fine, but her ass was sporadic with her communication, at best. Fuck it.....I didn't/don't need the additional stress, especially if all I wanted was someone to talk to, and connect with...
After a full year after this disaster, it left me feeling a little empty. I ended up shutting down my networking organization the Universal Africana Literary Arts Movement, as I couldn't help to network and promote others, and let my own writing career suffer at the same time. I realized that....I don't really have a hell of a lot of friends; close, or otherwise. That's quite a lonely feeling. I didn't feel all that supported of my writing career, as I had books available, and couldn't generate any type of sales, even during a pandemic, when everyone is stuck indoors, and I didn't have to compete with much outside entertainment. I also felt quite lonely, because that relationship didn't work out. Politically speaking, I'm becoming more & more disgusted by this country. The actions, and inactions, of the politicians, the racial violence by the police, the weaknesses that I see with the so-called activist community...I'm just done.
So, a year later, we have all grown. We have all survived. Hopefully, we've gotten stronger & better through our survival of this pandemic. I still have yet to return to work, and I honestly don't know if I really want to return to my old job. Perhaps I just need a mental sabbatical, and take some time to be in a monastery, or something. Here's to looking forward to better days, and excelling. Let us overcome, and persevere. Let's hope that we've come out better, after all of this.
Keep the fist raised.
#AlwaysOnMyLiteraryGrind
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