Starvin' Artist

I've become very reflective, the older that I get.  I try to learn from my experiences, and increase my personal growth.

So....I've been back in NYC for a little over a year, and it hasn't been very positive.  The whole reason for my return, was to work on my writing career full time, and take advantage of being back in my hometown.  Especially at that time, I had just recently dropped my third published book, and felt that I had gained enough a of a reputation, specifically through my activism in various fields, to be able to make some sort of a comfortable living back in my hometown.

Fat chance......

Looking back over the past year, it feels like I've been wasting my time here.  Never mind the gentrification of the city, and the transplants that have basically taken over many of our communities...the city has definitely changed.  It is NOT the Brooklyn, nor the New York, that I know/knew and loved.  Of course, if I loved it so much, I never would have left in the first place.  Now, going through this struggle....I remember why the fuck I left this city in the first place.

You're not supported out here....not unless you're backed by some big hype machine.  If the mainstream ain't singing your praises...people ain't fucking with you out here.

...And I though NYC was the capital of the trendsetters.

That's a bygone era.  We are no longer innovators and trendsetters.  We have now become sheeple.

Considering that I've published FIVE books within the last five years, I should be living comfortably, financially speaking.  Cat's who I thought were my friends and supporters, proved themselves not to be. I've organized and held my own book signing events...cats never showed up.  I've done appearances at other festivals around the city....cats never showed up.  I've posted links to my books on social media, and tagged these muffkas in it, if not posted it on their damned profile page...cats just press the fucking 'like' button, and keep it moving.  WTFFM?!?!?!  [What The Flying Fuck, Man]

I've done what I can to promote the books to my circle of people; text message, emails/e-blasts, posting on social media, blogging....and nothing!!!  I've even approached underground media outlets out here, like cable access TV show hosts, and still nada.  I should NOT be struggling this hard, especially not in my own hometown.  Even when I've done festivals, people out here be acting mad funny, like they're either scared to approach my table, or like I'm a threat cause I wrote a book (or, several).  Niggaz wanna sit there and debate you, when they see my nonfiction books, trying to prove how smart they think they are.

Nigga....you read a book, while I actually wrote one!  If you were so much better than me, you'd be on my side of the table.

I'm getting really sick of being out here, and am seriously considering moving on again.  I kinda hate having to start over again, but this struggling shit is for the birds.  I have goals that I'm trying to reach, and don't have time for the bullshit.  It should not be this much of a struggle for me, especially with all that I've done to support others through my activism and support.

I kinda needed to get this off my chest.  I'm going to try to give it until the end of the year, but don't blame me if I'm gone by the fall.  It's too expensive out there for this bullshit, nor is it worth it.  Especially considering the versatility of my written works, I should at least be comfortable, and making some sort of headway.

If this sounded like a bit of a rant session...then fuck it, it was.  I just needed to get this off of my chest.  I've lost a lot this past year, and I can't get that time back.  I'm not where I want to be, and don't need to waste any more time trying to get to where I want to be.  If I have to do that elsewhere, then so be it.

Loiza Festival of El Barrio 2015

Loiza Festival of El Barrio
July 24-26, 2015
E. 105th Street Between Park Ave & Lexington Ave
East Harlem (El Barrio)
www.cccadi.org

Mark your calendars!!!

BE THERE!!!!

"AfroLatinos: The Untaught Story" film screening 7-16-2015

I was lucky and honored to have been able to attend a film screening for the documentary film/series "AfroLatinos: The Untaught Story", screened at Subrosa in the West Village.  I had been aware of the film/series since around 2007-08, when I was writing for an an online e-magazine at the time.  They were promoting the film for the producers (Alicia Anabel Santos, and Renzo Devia), and I just knew that I had to come out and support them.  I've been lucky enough to establish a friendship with the producers/directors of the film since that time.

They had had an earlier screening for the film as part of this year's Afro Latino Festival NYC, but I was unfortunately unable to attend that particular screening.  I was able to get tickets for this particular screening, and attended with one of my closest friends, Robert Oriyama'at.  I was also lucky enough to see a few other friends attending the screening as well, and finally get the chance to meet a few people in person.

The film is WONDERFUL!!!  It was originally supposed to encompass 7 hours of footage, each hour to be it's own individual episode in the series; but even in it's currently condensed form of 90 minutes, it still made an impact.  They only screened an hour of it, a teaser if you will, and it left us wanting more.  The entire crowd was thoroughly satisfied, and really appreciative of the film.

It was especially wonderful for me, having always been a strong supporter of the project, ever since I found out about it.  I was lucky enough to have met Alicia three years ago at the first Afro Latino Festival NYC.  Last night was the first time that I got to meet Renzo in person, and it was well worth it.  It's great to be able to connect with people that you respect, admire, and support.  The plan now, is for the producers to take the film on the road, and do a college tour, screening the film on various campuses.  After that, the plan is to take the film abroad to Latin America, and hopefully have it air on television.  

If the film comes to a campus near you, PLEASE go out and see it!  It is very informative, and thoroughly enlightening and entertaining.  Please support the producers and the film.  They are telling OUR stories from OUR perspective, giving us a voice.

Afro Latino Festival NYC 2015

Proud to announce the THIRD annual Afro Latino Festival NYC, to be held in BROOKLYN, and various other parts of the city.  The event has been expanded the THREE days this year, from July 10th through July 12th.

MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!!! 

BE THERE!!!!!!