End of Summer Daze......

 It is going on the final weekend of August.  The summer season is coming to an end.  Starting next Tuesday, we'll have FOUR months left in the year.  I guess for some people, this year can't end fast enough.  There has been a lot of tragedy happening.  Last time that I check, I believe that the numbers for deaths from COVID-19 is about 178,000.  My personal opinion...?  A number of those deaths could have been unnecessarily avoided.  We've also lost a number of cultural icons to natural causes, or other diseases.  It's been a year of loss, and heavy emotional turmoil.

 

As August comes to a close, my sales have continued to be stagnant.  I didn't record any new sales for the month.  My sales have basically remained flat for the past THREE months.  Not for lack of trying.  I send out my email e-blasts, I continue to release the videos of "The Rough Draft" with the info to purchase my books, and continue to post about them on my social media.  I'm doing MY part in this....

 

Speaking of "The Rough Draft"...I posted Episode 17 on YouTube.  It celebrates the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of me doing the web series.  I've gotten a few positive responses for it on some of my other social media account, but none on YouTube, as of yet.  No...I will not be posting the link for it here.  It doesn't help me any, even when I do post the link in my blog.  Take yo ass onto YouTube, lol, lol, lol, lol!

Still working on my latest literary project.  "Knuckle Up" seems to be ready to be published.  I'm satisfied with the story, and don't see any additional editing that needs to be done.  I'm working on the cover art, now.  I produced FOUR different versions of the cover; I'm just trying to decide which one to use.  Maybe I should turn it, into some sort of contest...?

 

Still considering my move to the continent.  Still trying to decide between Tanzania, and Gambia.  I'm leaning a little more towards Gambia.  Hopefully, I can make that transition sometime next year.  I still need to get my passport done.  I don't care WHO wins that damn election....it's time for me to GO!!!

 

Working on a new Author Logo.  I might start using it.  I need to update all of my stuff, anyway.  Of course, I finally learned how to make graphic images while using my freeware programs on Windows 10.  Felt kinda dumb when I finally figure that out, lol, lol.

 

That's about it for now.  Hope to hit ya up in September.  I'm planning on doing something special on "The Rough Draft" to celebrate Latino Heritage Month.  I'm going to feature my Latino-themed books for both September & October.  Let me know what you guys think!!!

 

Keep the fist raised!!!

 

#AlwaysOnMyLiteraryGrind

 

 

When It's Time To Say Goodbye....

So, I had to go out of town this weekend to attend a homegoing for a dear brother and comrade of mine...

I was stunned and hurt when I found out that he'd joined the ancestors.  I literally had just talked to him, not too long before he had passed.  We had exchanged text messages, and then we both had gotten busy with life.  I didn't find out until a month ago of his passing.  It was a deep shock to me, as the brother was not a sickly person; quite the opposite.  He is/was vegan, a holistic health practitioner, a wellness life coach, vegan chef, certified Reiki massage therapist, as well as being an artivist (artist +  activist).

I returned to Richmond, VA this past weekend; 8 years since I'd originally moved out, after having relocated there the end of '06.  The service was held for him, mostly attended by family, and a few friends and comrades.  I had my emotional moments, but I was glad to have attended, and had the opportunity to say goodbye.  It was also good, as I was able to reconnect with another dear brother/comrade, since our brotherhood has mostly been phone-bound since my relocation....several times over (with my nomadic ass).

I became very reflective afterward.  The ride home on the bus (FUCK GREYHOUND!!!!) gave me a lot of time to think.  I was glad to be able to say goodbye to my dearly departed brother, now that he has joined the ancestors.  At the same time, there were things that troubled me after his transition.  Part of it, is the lack of info as far as his passing is concerned.  I would be able to swallow this better, if he had been a sickly individual, or addicted to drugs, or even if he had died violently at the hands of some knucklehead on the streets.  None of the above applies, so it's a little harder for me to accept.  He was extremely healthy, and health conscious, and knew how to take care of himself.  I guess, that's just one mystery I'll have to live with, until I see him in the other realm...

The other thing that got to me was....how will I be remembered when I'm gone?  There were certain things about the service that left much to be desired, knowing what I personally knew about my now-departed bredren.  How will MY memory and legacy be preserved, and honored when I pass from this realm? Will all of my friends and associates be contacted about my passing, and if/when the funerary rites will be held?  Will my sendoff be to my wishes, and not get convoluted into something that I wouldn't wish for..?  Even if I do leave my funerary wishes written down, will they be honored, and carried out?  How will anyone find my written wishes?  As an independent artivist myself, I have no legal team, or lawyer to help with this; I can barely afford my general basic living expenses....

It also makes me think about the things that I still want to accomplish in life.  I still want to get married, and have children.  I'm still young enough to make that happen.  That actually is a major goal for me right now, despite the current writing career.  Other than the legacy of the Universal Africana Literary Arts Movement still continuing on after my own transition,  I would need to find a dedicated team to put in place to carry that out.  It kind of saddens you a bit....  :'-(

Dedicated to my brother Etaniel Ben Yehuda.....artivist, poet, actor, musician, singer, GREAT bredren/brother/friend/comrade, published author, and SO, SO much more.

Uhuru sasa, y paz.

Etaniel Ben Cohen Yehuda

1977-2018

 

Nothing.......

Honestly....I have NOTHING to report.

Really. Seriously.  Truthfully.

There is absolutely nothing for me to report to you guys.  Everything is at a stand still.  No sales to report...no job prospects...no anniversaries coming up...nada.  I don't even know when the hell that episode of my interview is going to air; I still haven't been contacted back by the show's producer who interviewed me.  Considering that the show airs every Sunday, there are only two more Sundays left in the month.  Not very inspiring that my episode is going to air this month.

Nothing on the job front, either.  Considering that gamble that I took back in August, basically taking a one-way trip out of state for a job interview, you would've thought that something might have resulted from that.  Didn't get that particular job, nor anything else much after that.  Oh, I've applied to a good number of jobs out there, but nothing really resulted from it.  I got like....one call back for a position, and nothing else since.  Looks like my relocation plans are on hold, as well...

Trying to finish writing my manuscripts that are WIP, but I'm not necessarily motivated to finish them.  Wtf is the point?!  Finish writing them...publish them...and then have them languish on cyber bookshelves for the rest of their existence...?  Nuccas can come out of pocket for some stupid shit like the latest smartphone (that they don't need), a video game/gaming system, shoes, handbag, and other crap they don't need, that's EXPENSIVE as all hell mind you....but y'all can't invest in my mf book that costs between $10-$15....?  What's the sense in publishing them, then?!?!  I don't want to hear your bs rhetoric about supporting me, and then all you do is press the mf 'like' button on social media, and call it a day.  If you're truly a fan of my work, and support me, BUY my books!  And don't just buy one title....buy at least three, or four of them; THEN you can call yourself my biggest fan.

Yes....I'm ranting.  This is frustrating.  I've been dealing with this struggle for over two years, trying to be a fulltime author.  It's sickening when you're not supported, and people make excuses.  Or, when people do give you support, it's actually quite minimal, and they make it seem like they did you such a big favor.  I would understand if I was a crappy writer with no talent; I shouldn't even bee in the game.  BUT....I'm talented, and have skills.  I know how to market and promote myself, and my works.  I've been doing that for most of my life, specifically through my activism.

Maybe things will start to look up by the end of the year.  Who knows....

The Road Trip That Wasn't

This is going to be a little bit of a rant session....

So, I was supposed to go on a road trip out of town this past weekend to a Latino cultural event in Wilmington, Delaware.  I'd found out about the event about two months ago, sometime in mid-July, and told my "friend" about it.  We're pretty much unofficial partners, though I end up doing most (actually all) of the work, and research.  He was supposed to be my ride to the event, considering that I don't drive, nor own a car.

He left for a trip out of the country last month for three weeks, and then returned.  You'd think that all was good, and straight, right?  He comes back acting all brand new, and acting like he doesn't know how to answer his fucking phone.  I tried to chase him down for the last two weeks to confirm shit (among other matters, that I wanted to deal with him about), and it took me forever to get into contact with him.  Firstly, he gets the fucking day wrong, considering that I'd sent him a shit load of information about the damn thing (flyers, the application, my email correspondence with the festival organizer).  Then, he starts to cop pleads about, "Oh...I don't know if Ima be able to make it...", and other bullshit like that, like I just sprung this on him the other day.  Considering that he's been acting like a bitch since I told him about my plans to relocate, this really irritated me.  If this was a last minute thing, I would understand; I told this nigga about this shit damn near two fucking months ago!!!  He's claiming to be working a lot at his job; nigga...you's a cab driver!  Don't act as if you can't talk and drive at the same fucking time!

This is the reason why I want to leave so bad.  Cats be mad unreliable, and selfish about shit.  Everybody wants to benefit from what they can get from me, and not do shit in return.  The trip was also supposed to be a fact finding/research mission for me as far as relocating is concerned.  It was also supposed to be an opportunity for me to network with some people and/or organizations out there.  He fucked up that opportunity for me, and it wasn't the first time.  There was another event out there that I'd wanted to get out to, but again, he shitted on me by not answering his fucking phone.

If I had the money to travel, I would just go down there myself, instead of having to rely on others.  It's really starting to get to a point where I just need to look out for myself, and not worry about trying to help and carry others, as other author friends of mine have told me.  I know that that's not really in my nature, especially as an activist, but if I want to progress in my writing career, I need to be on that "self" tip.  Nobody is going to help me to progress in my career, and sell my books, but ME.  Not to mention, I'm sick of bending over backwards to help people, and not getting shit in return when I need that same support and assistance.

I'm now more determined that ever to move the fuck away from this bullshit ass city.  I'm tired of the wack ass people out here, and the lack of support.  I'm just going to continue to plan my escape from this shithole, and get the hell out of here once the opportunity presents itself.  I've had enough...

Spittin' Lyrics N Waxin' Poetic [Poetry Ebook]

My latest literary project!  A poetry book, featuring a collection of previously unreleased material that I've written over the years.  Wanted to show a different side of my creativity this time around.

Available in ebook format ONLY!!!  Available through Nook, Kobo, iTunes, Page Foundry, Scribd, and Oyster. 

Only $2.99!!! ISBN #: 9781516327188

Spread the word, and PLEASE SUPPORT!!!!  

Starvin' Artist

I've become very reflective, the older that I get.  I try to learn from my experiences, and increase my personal growth.

So....I've been back in NYC for a little over a year, and it hasn't been very positive.  The whole reason for my return, was to work on my writing career full time, and take advantage of being back in my hometown.  Especially at that time, I had just recently dropped my third published book, and felt that I had gained enough a of a reputation, specifically through my activism in various fields, to be able to make some sort of a comfortable living back in my hometown.

Fat chance......

Looking back over the past year, it feels like I've been wasting my time here.  Never mind the gentrification of the city, and the transplants that have basically taken over many of our communities...the city has definitely changed.  It is NOT the Brooklyn, nor the New York, that I know/knew and loved.  Of course, if I loved it so much, I never would have left in the first place.  Now, going through this struggle....I remember why the fuck I left this city in the first place.

You're not supported out here....not unless you're backed by some big hype machine.  If the mainstream ain't singing your praises...people ain't fucking with you out here.

...And I though NYC was the capital of the trendsetters.

That's a bygone era.  We are no longer innovators and trendsetters.  We have now become sheeple.

Considering that I've published FIVE books within the last five years, I should be living comfortably, financially speaking.  Cat's who I thought were my friends and supporters, proved themselves not to be. I've organized and held my own book signing events...cats never showed up.  I've done appearances at other festivals around the city....cats never showed up.  I've posted links to my books on social media, and tagged these muffkas in it, if not posted it on their damned profile page...cats just press the fucking 'like' button, and keep it moving.  WTFFM?!?!?!  [What The Flying Fuck, Man]

I've done what I can to promote the books to my circle of people; text message, emails/e-blasts, posting on social media, blogging....and nothing!!!  I've even approached underground media outlets out here, like cable access TV show hosts, and still nada.  I should NOT be struggling this hard, especially not in my own hometown.  Even when I've done festivals, people out here be acting mad funny, like they're either scared to approach my table, or like I'm a threat cause I wrote a book (or, several).  Niggaz wanna sit there and debate you, when they see my nonfiction books, trying to prove how smart they think they are.

Nigga....you read a book, while I actually wrote one!  If you were so much better than me, you'd be on my side of the table.

I'm getting really sick of being out here, and am seriously considering moving on again.  I kinda hate having to start over again, but this struggling shit is for the birds.  I have goals that I'm trying to reach, and don't have time for the bullshit.  It should not be this much of a struggle for me, especially with all that I've done to support others through my activism and support.

I kinda needed to get this off my chest.  I'm going to try to give it until the end of the year, but don't blame me if I'm gone by the fall.  It's too expensive out there for this bullshit, nor is it worth it.  Especially considering the versatility of my written works, I should at least be comfortable, and making some sort of headway.

If this sounded like a bit of a rant session...then fuck it, it was.  I just needed to get this off of my chest.  I've lost a lot this past year, and I can't get that time back.  I'm not where I want to be, and don't need to waste any more time trying to get to where I want to be.  If I have to do that elsewhere, then so be it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR/ My Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  WELCOME TO 2015!!!!

Hopefully, everyone had a joyous new years celebration.  2014 was definitely an up and down year for me.  It ended on a somewhat negative note, but I'm looking forward to the new year, and the positive energies that come with it. 

Of the positives: I ended the year quitting my position in my organization (not to mention my day job), and moving back to the city of my birth.  I got the chance to be more active, and enjoy myself a little more, attending the various cultural events that take place in NYC and other places.  I also dropped my 3rd book in four years.  I got the opportunity to participate in more festivals/book fairs to help promote my books.  Also, I've been lucky enough to network and make friends with other authors and Afro Latin@ activists, specifically a lot of young hermanas getting into the movement.

Of the negative, though...the move back home hasn't been as smooth as I'd anticipated it to be.  I haven't been getting the type of book sales that I've wanted, nor have I gotten much traction as far as being able to promote myself to the local media, or consistently put together book signing appearances.  Not to mention, a dear friend of mine who I looked up to passed away in December.  2015 couldn't get here fast enough for me...

For the new year, my plans are to publish yet another book; this time a novel.  I'm hoping to have my latest book, "The Chronicles of The Black Fist" published by early Spring; a superhero novel.  I know of a few black comic book conventions to debut it at, and I think that it can take off from there.  Most likely, I will focus solely on promoting that particular book; it might be easier on me to focus my energy promoting only one book, instead of all of them.  I know that having written as many books as I have shows a high level of skill and versatility, but I think personally it would be easier to focus my marketing energies on one book for the time being.  Besides, nobody seems to care too much for my nonfiction stuff.  Why beat a dead horse...?

So...here's to a better 2015.  I'm planning on rebounding back in a strong way, improving on what I did or didn't do well last year.  Hopefully, you guys will come out and support me once the book drops.

Uhuru sase, y paz.

Juan Flores (1943-2014)

This blog is dedicated to a dear friend and mentor of mine, Juan Flores.  Juan is/was a scholar, author, and activist, being the co-founder and co-director of the Afrolatin@ Forum.  I've been fortunate enough to have had interactions with him, and be able to consider him my friend.

Juan passed away on the morning of Tuesday, December 2nd.  I checked my email that afternoon, and saw the e-blast sent out by his organization about his passing.  I was both stunned and hurt, having just seen him this past October at the Forum's Afrolatin@s Now! Conference, and having had the opportunity to talk to him.  I was lucky enough to see him a few times this past summer at other Forum related events, and get to share some laughs and quality time with him.  I felt better about seeing him, now that I was permanently back in NYC.  This would give me the opportunity to, not only come out and support the Forum more, but also to work with him on any other projects that they were doing, or that I would like to do with them jointly.

This is a deep loss for me; I don't have too many people out there that I can truly count on as friends and comrades in the struggle.  There are actually VERY few of us out there that are truly dedicated to instituting change, and fighting for the cause.  I especially liked Juan because he is/was a very warm, friendly, and personable type of personality.  I never felt like he was ever talking down to me, or that he didn't respect my opinion or ideological persuasion because of my age.  I don't really get that from a lot of older people, especially those that want to claim the status of 'elder' in the community.  To be considered an elder is a right that needs to be earned, not given just because you've reached a certain age.  Juan was truly an elder in my eyes, and was just as vibrant as any youthful activist.

So, this is deeply dedicated to my dear friend Juan Flores.  May you rest in power in the ancestral plane, and may I make you happy with all of my achievements and accomplishments.

Libertad ahora!!!
Uhuru sase, y paz

 

(Miriam Jimenez Roman <his wife>, myself, and Juan Flores; Baltimore, 2011)

 (Juan at the recent Afrolatin@s Now! Conference in 2014)