I was stunned and hurt when I found out that he'd joined the ancestors. I literally had just talked to him, not too long before he had passed. We had exchanged text messages, and then we both had gotten busy with life. I didn't find out until a month ago of his passing. It was a deep shock to me, as the brother was not a sickly person; quite the opposite. He is/was vegan, a holistic health practitioner, a wellness life coach, vegan chef, certified Reiki massage therapist, as well as being an artivist (artist + activist).
I returned to Richmond, VA this past weekend; 8 years since I'd originally moved out, after having relocated there the end of '06. The service was held for him, mostly attended by family, and a few friends and comrades. I had my emotional moments, but I was glad to have attended, and had the opportunity to say goodbye. It was also good, as I was able to reconnect with another dear brother/comrade, since our brotherhood has mostly been phone-bound since my relocation....several times over (with my nomadic ass).
I became very reflective afterward. The ride home on the bus (FUCK GREYHOUND!!!!) gave me a lot of time to think. I was glad to be able to say goodbye to my dearly departed brother, now that he has joined the ancestors. At the same time, there were things that troubled me after his transition. Part of it, is the lack of info as far as his passing is concerned. I would be able to swallow this better, if he had been a sickly individual, or addicted to drugs, or even if he had died violently at the hands of some knucklehead on the streets. None of the above applies, so it's a little harder for me to accept. He was extremely healthy, and health conscious, and knew how to take care of himself. I guess, that's just one mystery I'll have to live with, until I see him in the other realm...
The other thing that got to me was....how will I be remembered when I'm gone? There were certain things about the service that left much to be desired, knowing what I personally knew about my now-departed bredren. How will MY memory and legacy be preserved, and honored when I pass from this realm? Will all of my friends and associates be contacted about my passing, and if/when the funerary rites will be held? Will my sendoff be to my wishes, and not get convoluted into something that I wouldn't wish for..? Even if I do leave my funerary wishes written down, will they be honored, and carried out? How will anyone find my written wishes? As an independent artivist myself, I have no legal team, or lawyer to help with this; I can barely afford my general basic living expenses....
It also makes me think about the things that I still want to accomplish in life. I still want to get married, and have children. I'm still young enough to make that happen. That actually is a major goal for me right now, despite the current writing career. Other than the legacy of the Universal Africana Literary Arts Movement still continuing on after my own transition, I would need to find a dedicated team to put in place to carry that out. It kind of saddens you a bit.... :'-(
Dedicated to my brother Etaniel Ben Yehuda.....artivist, poet, actor, musician, singer, GREAT bredren/brother/friend/comrade, published author, and SO, SO much more.
Uhuru sasa, y paz.
Etaniel Ben Cohen Yehuda
1977-2018
