Tuesday, June 25, 2024

The Struggle is REEEEEEEAAAAL!!!! :-(

 I'm going through a really, really tough period in my life, right about now....  😢😢😢😢


Financially speaking, I'm broke. Trying to get this apartment, and trying to pay for this expensive ass hotel has almost completely drained my finances.  I'm literally homeless right now.  I'm surviving by illegally sleeping at my day job, and working some serious overtime hours, where I don't necessarily have to go 'home'.  No book sales are coming in, and my last paycheck wasn't as beneficial as I thought.  Not to mention, I get paid every two weeks, so it's a long stretch of time before I can get any money in my pocket.  I couldn't have written a worse situation for any of my characters... 😢😢😢😢


Technically, I've been homeless since I moved out here, living out of a hotel.  I can't even do that now, since I can't afford to stay there.  Now, I have NO place to stay.  I don't even know if I'll be able to afford to move into this new apartment that I'm trying to get.  I've never hit bottom like this, before.  I'm trying to stay positive & hopeful, but...this is A LOT to deal with.  Nobody really knows about my situation; I'm too ashamed and embarrassed to tell anyone.  Only my new department head, and a handful of associates out here know what's going on with me. 😔😔😔😔


At least if I had some residual income from book sales, this experience wouldn't be so bad.  I would be able to have at least something in my pocket.  Hell, I might have been able to afford to stay at that price gouging ass hotel a little bit longer, if I had any additional money coming in.  Such is the state of my writing career; people can press a fucking 'like' button, but refuse to buy shit.

 

At least when I'm at work, I'm distracted about my situation.  Once my shift ends, though...I'm reminded that I have no place to go, once I clock out for the day/shift.  Working overtime hours helps because that's putting some much needed money in my pocket, but having to wait for that next paycheck is painful and scary.

 

I really pray that I can get into this new apartment.  I need for this to come through for me.  I can't really live like this.  The price for the apartment is one that I can live with, and I know that this new job will provide me with the hours needed to maintain it.  Furnishing the new apartment should be easy; I have contacts at my old job that I can reach out to, to help me with that.  I just need a place where I can lay my head, and I don't have to worry about coming out of pocket to maintain it every few days.


I've been sending prayers to the Creator & the ancestors.  I hope that they are listening, and doing what they can from the ancestral realm.  I just need everything to line up for me, and come through.


Keep me in your thoughts....

😢😢😢😢😔😔😔😔

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