When It's Time To Say Goodbye....

So, I had to go out of town this weekend to attend a homegoing for a dear brother and comrade of mine...

I was stunned and hurt when I found out that he'd joined the ancestors.  I literally had just talked to him, not too long before he had passed.  We had exchanged text messages, and then we both had gotten busy with life.  I didn't find out until a month ago of his passing.  It was a deep shock to me, as the brother was not a sickly person; quite the opposite.  He is/was vegan, a holistic health practitioner, a wellness life coach, vegan chef, certified Reiki massage therapist, as well as being an artivist (artist +  activist).

I returned to Richmond, VA this past weekend; 8 years since I'd originally moved out, after having relocated there the end of '06.  The service was held for him, mostly attended by family, and a few friends and comrades.  I had my emotional moments, but I was glad to have attended, and had the opportunity to say goodbye.  It was also good, as I was able to reconnect with another dear brother/comrade, since our brotherhood has mostly been phone-bound since my relocation....several times over (with my nomadic ass).

I became very reflective afterward.  The ride home on the bus (FUCK GREYHOUND!!!!) gave me a lot of time to think.  I was glad to be able to say goodbye to my dearly departed brother, now that he has joined the ancestors.  At the same time, there were things that troubled me after his transition.  Part of it, is the lack of info as far as his passing is concerned.  I would be able to swallow this better, if he had been a sickly individual, or addicted to drugs, or even if he had died violently at the hands of some knucklehead on the streets.  None of the above applies, so it's a little harder for me to accept.  He was extremely healthy, and health conscious, and knew how to take care of himself.  I guess, that's just one mystery I'll have to live with, until I see him in the other realm...

The other thing that got to me was....how will I be remembered when I'm gone?  There were certain things about the service that left much to be desired, knowing what I personally knew about my now-departed bredren.  How will MY memory and legacy be preserved, and honored when I pass from this realm? Will all of my friends and associates be contacted about my passing, and if/when the funerary rites will be held?  Will my sendoff be to my wishes, and not get convoluted into something that I wouldn't wish for..?  Even if I do leave my funerary wishes written down, will they be honored, and carried out?  How will anyone find my written wishes?  As an independent artivist myself, I have no legal team, or lawyer to help with this; I can barely afford my general basic living expenses....

It also makes me think about the things that I still want to accomplish in life.  I still want to get married, and have children.  I'm still young enough to make that happen.  That actually is a major goal for me right now, despite the current writing career.  Other than the legacy of the Universal Africana Literary Arts Movement still continuing on after my own transition,  I would need to find a dedicated team to put in place to carry that out.  It kind of saddens you a bit....  :'-(

Dedicated to my brother Etaniel Ben Yehuda.....artivist, poet, actor, musician, singer, GREAT bredren/brother/friend/comrade, published author, and SO, SO much more.

Uhuru sasa, y paz.

Etaniel Ben Cohen Yehuda

1977-2018

 

October Flow....

Okay.....I've been away from the blog for a while...

It's OCTOBER....my birthday month.  Just turned 44.  Yay, me!  :-)  Got to see another year of life, so THAT'S always good...

It's the second half of Latino Heritage Month  (just officially ended this past Monday).  Been on my grind trying to promote both "Fiesta Girl" (Draft2Digital, 2018) AND the "Raise Your Brown Black Fist" book series (Authorhouse, 2010, Outskirts Press, 2011) via e-blasts.  Don't really know how effective I've been with it, but, that's how I do every year, this time of year.

A new day job is on the horizon.  Just got to go through a few more steps, and I should be starting by next week.  I'm glad; getting kinda low on cash, though I will definitely miss the free time.  Haven't had an official vacation since moving out here to DE, so this time off was very helpful.  Especially with how they were shitting on my at my last gig, I needed the break....

Continuing to work on my latest literary project.  I finally got around to converting one of my screenplays into a novel.  The latest project is called "Suicide Amy".  The first draft is already complete; now, I just have to concentrate on the editing process.  I'm hoping to have it completed by 2020.  I want to give myself more than enough time to get it to where I want it to be, literarily speaking.  I have a literary standard to keep, ya know....  ;-)

Have an idea rolling around in my head.  Want to do a web based TV show; an interview type of show.  Kinda got inspired watching "Uncensored" on TVOne; wanted to do something similar for writers, comic book artists/publishers, etc.  Haven't come up with a name for it yet (actually...I do have a name for it; I just don't want to say it here, and have someone jack the idea before I can do it), but the premise is basically to highlight those of us that are struggling for exposure.  We're out here, but we're not getting the recognition, or the support.  Just wanted to create a platform for us to get our shine, and some exposure.  Wanted to combine it with my Universal Africana Literary Arts Movement, since all of us are out here trying to get exposure, and (financial) support from the masses.  Maybe do it as a web series, or a vlog, or even as a cable access show.  I'm still working on it.  I'll let you guys know how that turns out....

Since the end of the year is coming, I need to concentrate on end-of-year holiday sales.  That has always been a tough sell for me.  People will spend loads of money buying a bunch of expensive shit, but NOBODY will buy any of my books, no matter how much I e-blast/cyber promote their availability.  Other than vending at a Kwanzaa event, or two...I don't know htf to get over this hurdle every year.  My online sales are a joke, so I guess hand-to-hand sales are my best option, as I'm always stating.  Of course, having the free time to actually do those types of sales, is the major hurdle.

Aaaaaaannyway......

That's it for me this time around.  Will keep y'all updated on my latest efforts.  Try to support a brotha.  It's not just paperbacks...I have eBooks too.  And, YES...they're on Kindle!!!

Uhuru sase, y paz!!!!